Being in an emotionally abusive relationship will not only scare you, but the scars it will leave you with are worse than ever being scared.
You don’t let go of a relationship because you are worried about the other person, rather you let go to save yourself. This isn’t something that is easy either and the decision itself has ramifications!
It is not a viable relationship when there is a specific ‘criteria’ which has to be met. It is not right to be told that you need to be thin to be sexy, to have the house clean – to have a home, to have a robot as a child – to be a good parent.
It’s been about a year since I made that decision and still I have restless nights, down moments and even worse self doubt. It doesn’t happen as often anymore but when the ‘black curtain’, as I call it, begins to descend you know that it’s going to be one of those days, those weeks or even those months. It will take all your energy to fight your way through the drapes and the blackness to get yourself out of it.
Often someone will say something or do something and you are instantly taken back to a moment when you were belittled, shamed and or told you are nothing. My advice, breathe, let it happen, don’t speak, don’t cry, just breathe. You are no longer in that place, you no longer have to feel like that. You made the choice and you are better for it. Remind yourself of that.
In for three……. out for three…… in for three… out for three…. it’s okay to shed a tear but not for long. Only long enough to let the relief and the body to remember the choice was to set you free. To let you grow, mend and become you again.
Someone once told me; “time heels all hurt.” Well I can tell you that is the truth! Give it time. You will heal. I am!
One thought on “Emotional abuse – what is it?”
Good to hear Shelley!