Does it ever end?

As a single mother of one I have become accustomed to battling it out.

Day in and day out.

The daily grind, as one would call it, of getting a child ready for school, packing lunch boxes, encouraging learning, being positive, being patient and of course providing that sense of unconditional love.

Well I’m resigning!

Officially opening it up to anyone who is willing. I am offering a 15 year old up for free.

We have been through a lot, emotionally and mentally. Yes we have survived and continue to survive the unimaginable. I acknowledge that.

However, can I resign? As a parent.

Of course not. I do wish I could for a few hours, days or even a week.

I get every child is unique and a special individual, but I never predicted mine would be going through a phase of thinking she is dying all the time.

Literally she thinks she is dying.

We’ve gone from a simple pain in her lower back, to she’s leaking spinal fluid from her nose, today however, her uterus is falling out or she’s pregnant.

Imagine that, receiving a phone call while she is with her dad (for a week every 10-13 weeks) saying, Dr. Google says I am pregnant.

I mean WTF (pardon the profanity!) but really???

I am a biology teacher after all. She knows the birds and bees story. Probably more than she should. This ‘epiphany’ of hers led to quite a frank and open discussion about how ones becomes pregnant. Followed by a text to her dad saying, ‘your daughter thinks she pregnant, please discuss this with her.’ After all she was there. Let him do some parenting!

Let’s skip a few weeks ahead, this is after endless blood pressure checks in the middle of the night, many inspected red spots on her body and of course who can forget the pain in her neck, back, leg etc.

To say I am exhausted is really simplifying it all!

In the past week we have seen two seperate GP’s. The first one said it’s your anxiety and stress. Talk to your psych. She listened and acknowledged she was okay. For an hour.

Don’t worry she was dying again later that evening!

Many e-mails during school hours, a trip to the nurse and tears in my office as now her abdomen was sore. Again we head off to GP number 2. This one I ask to do a full physical exam. Which he does. No sign of any discomfort or symptoms which would warrant an MRI or brain scan. I do have to bear the eyes of the GP which really were a ‘are you for real mum, your daughter is fine look’. I felt like yelling, I know she’s fine but she won’t listen to me!

Bloods ordered and an ultra sound booked all to try and appease the very concerned teen.

Blood normal and scan yet to be done.

However since then we have played a vigorous game of waterpolo, attended classes and of course asked for a sleep over mid week with a friend.

Can she really be dying?

Today, the psych visit. Enlightening but also so obvious. A small $335 to pay to be told you are chalk and cheese. She, being the teen will interpret any advice or strategies form me in a negative way. I am mum after all. She is very much her dad.

Maybe that’s why her dad and I didn’t work and would never work as a pair. Hmmm???

Tonight, she’s home in high spirits. The mention of study and discipline brings on the uterus is falling out! Literally I mean she is tearing up and she’s on…, yes you guessed it…. Dr. google!

Really!!

I breathe, I say to myself remember what the psych said, ‘you just have to listen’.

Well what if I am flabbergasted at what is coming out her mouth, what if there is a simple answer? Get off the bloody internet! Your periods due.

Just listen……. I keep saying to myself…

I mean what’s the worst that could happen? Her uterus actually falls out? I mean at least we would then have an answer!

I don’t know about all of you but this parenting gig is hard. Its meant to get easier they said. Well that’s a load of rubbish!

All I know is we face another night of sleepless unnecessary wake ups to check blood pressure or inspect a red spot!

Suggestions? Anyone?

Author: insightintowhatitsrealkylike

Right now I do not even know how to describe me. I am a weak but I am strong, I have hit rock bottom and recovered. Some days I soar, others I hide. Writing comes at the most different of time!

One thought on “Does it ever end?”

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