Category: Relationships

A funny side of life!

For generations farting in public and/or even celebrating the act of farting has and is still deemed to be inappropriate and somewhat disgusting.

Culturally ‘farting’ is mostly seen as disrespectful and something that should be done only in private if not at all.

It’s funny though because when we are born we are encouraged, often, to fart and burp. We are patted on our backs and given praise when we do these things. How strange. At what age does this change? 1, 3, 5, 10, 30?

Who knows exactly when it changes but my goodness it does.

I am currently on a camp, Outward Bound, with 16 Year 9 students. It involves taking one large group of students out into the remote bush lands of the Clarence river in New South Wales. This year I have 31 students in total from years 9 and 10 who are split into 2 smaller groups. The aim of Outward Bound is to remove the students from all the ‘mod-cons’ and basic everyday items they are used to. It provides opportunities through challenges for the students to push themselves. Students enter their stretch zone and maybe even their panic zone in order to better understand themselves.

A pretty powerful set of opportunities and challenges!

What are these ‘mod cons’ I speak of. Well they include, running water, showers and toilets. Instead we use river water, which needs to be purified, for drinking, a ‘Bommy’ or man dug hole as a toilet and wet wipes or icy cold river water for a shower.

The students carry on their back the necessities together with food drops, which come every second or third day. The students learn to navigate, work as a team, cook, clean and also maintain their own personal hygiene all the time learning to respect the environment. It’s 10 days where the students are pushed, their personal boundaries stretched and life lessons are learnt. A true hands on learning through doing experience, all of which I am privileged enough, not only to organise, but also attend. Watching the individual triumphs, failures, victories and ultimately their transformations!

Now before I get off track let me return to the title of this blog – The Art of Farting.

Each year I hold a parent information evening prior to departing on this expedition and I mention to the parents and their young ones that we will all become very familiar with each other’s bowel movements. Not only our bowel movements but also ‘poo’. Poo will become what we talk about most. They all laugh at this and think, surely not!!

Well every year, it happens!

I know more about my students bowel movements than their parents!!

Out bush it’s vital that the students ‘poo’ we feed them trail mix filled with all sorts of goodies, including many different types of seeds, not even I am sure of the name of them all. We feed them snacks and lots of fresh fruit to encourage these necessary bowel movements! The breakfast muesli, morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea and dinner are all made up of ‘poo’ encouraging nutrients!

On day one we introduce the students to games such as; bommy golf or fart baseball.

Now these may not be familiar to you but if we are going to spend 10 days out bush, in close quarters, with these kids, we have to make their toileting something not to scary.

A lot of them think of a bommy – a bucket lined with a bin bag, and a hole in the ground as things so foreign to them they would rather wait 10 days and poo when they get home. Well this can bring on all sorts of health issues and concerns!!

So bommy golf – a great game. It’s easy, if they poo once a day they are on par. If they poo twice they are one under. If they miss a day they are one over. A great game for any out door educator who wants to have some fun with kids or help make their bowel actions into a more comfortable and acceptable game. I have had years where we are close to camp and the boys and girls are racing to dig the hole with ‘dug’, the aptly named shovel, in order to win the game. The best score in the past 9 years was on 10 day camp was when male students ended up 32 under. That was more than two a day! Talk about chew the toilet paper!!!

Another bush game, which I learnt this year is called, fart baseball. This was introduced to me by, Forest. Yup that’s his real name! The instructor with me this year. He is hilarious and has shown me other fun ways to ease the students into bush toileting.

So here are the rules of Fart Baseball.

If you fart, you move to base one. This move can only happen if your fart is validated. This means it is either heard by someone else or smelt by someone else. If this is the case and your fart is validated you yell out ‘1st base’. Now the aim is to then fart again and have it validated to allow you to move to 2nd base before someone else farts and moves to 1st base thus kicking you of. It’s all about speed and getting through the bases before someone else does. What a challenge!

Now that you have an idea about the rules imagine unleashing this game on a group of mostly year 9 boys!! Well it happened! Not only has this become the best game ever played but their runs and home runs can happen at any time.

This may be while preparing their food and the next minute we either hear it or smell it! It can even happen when in a serious moment sitting around the camp fire enjoying the silence and, boom…… there it goes. Now these boys are serious! As soon as one person is almost near a home run the race is on. We have farts going off left right and centre. The girls have even joined in.

It’s a great game but I do have some issues with it as I am the one who travels up the back when hiking. A high fibre diet, young kids, exercise and of course a game of fart baseball make for a very interesting smell coming up the rear (pardon the pun) of the team! Phew!!!

The best times are when we are in our tents and the camp is quietening down and BOOM, someone lets one rip and you hear 1st base or 2nd base etc. this of course has us all in fits of laughter and with uncontrollable laughter comes more…. yes you guessed it…. farts!! Bed time is when most achieve their home runs!

Of course we keep score and the winner is the one with the most home runs at the end of 10 days.

Now you may think this is weird but it has to be the most entertaining game when out in the bush. If you’re an adventurer I encourage you to try this. Your students will never forget the game and or be hesitant to poo by the end of your trip!

The students who arrived on the bus 10 days ago, worried about how they looked, whether their girlfriend in the cubicle next door would hear them wee or even worse hear the sound of them pooing.

The students, male and female, who would never dream of pooing in a hole in the bush and rushing back to camp, arms high in the air yelling, ‘I did it, I finally pooped’, resulting in high fives and celebrations all round.

Who would have thought that these students were the same ones who got off the bus 10 days ago.

Farting when we were babies is an encouraged behaviour, but soon it becomes an unacceptable behaviour. Well out here, the Art of Farting is something else! It’s a game, it’s part of being human. It’s not something to be embarrassed about. A lesson for the students who are so worried about what others think about them. Rather being comfortable within oneself.

I know that when these kids get off the bus and we go back their parents they will not be the same. They have conquered mountains, pushed themselves mentally, emotionally and physically. They have been tried and tested. They have been broken, brought to tears at times and felt like they could not go on.

They were taught to accept themselves, their peers and of course recognise that ones own limitations and boundaries are not the same as the person sitting next to you.

The one fun thing we do know from these 10 days is the students have learnt there is an Art to Farting. The students become comfortable in their surroundings and have amazing memories of experiences that are life changing.

For me; I cannot wait until next years Outward Bound!

A few weeks go I had an exceptional five days.

I haven’t, for a long time, taken the time to see some of the people who mean the world to me.

Well this school break I was determined, and saw 5 very important people in my life, apart from my family!

For years I have ignored the fact that I was slowly being disconnected, (forced disconnection) from the people in my life. It was subtle but now it is clear as day to me.

Let me tell you about the 5 days I had.

Day 1. A girlfriend Mrs. W, made the time to drive hours to see me. We haven’t seen each other since she was a beautiful bride a few months ago. Months before that was the last time I saw her. This beautiful lady, she knows who she is, being someone who brought laughter, memories, vodka and a day of card games to my doorstep. I cannot remember the last time I laughed, relaxed, talked about life and just truly felt like I had come back to life. It was short lived but a wonderful 24 hours! After being a ‘shitty’ friend who had and always seemed to have crap going in my life, this wonderful woman was just waiting for me to return! Thank you Mrs. W!

Day 2. I caught up with a long lost love, an inspirational man with his own troubled past .But, who no matter what makes you laugh and laugh. My cheeks were sore and my heart filled with thoughts and positive reinforcement. I know I am loved, I am wanted and I am beautiful! How much more could you ask for. See you soon Mr. J.

Day 3. A friend from the Sunshine Coast made his way down to the Gold Coast (GC) to take me out to dinner. A friend who is still fondly known as the ‘guy who beeped his horn outside my house, letting me know he was there to collect me back in 2001’. This being a pet hate of my father, as no one ‘toots’ for his daughter. This has been and continues to be a running joke and Mr.N knows it! Mr. N has become an amazing man with a heart so big it’s astounding! Always giving to anyone and everyone despite it sometimes being at the detriment of himself. We had a wonderful dinner and an even better, fun filled brekkie! Thanks for the company!! Oh and Mr. N, my daughter cannot wait to have a round of 9 holes with you! Be careful she will whip your butt!

Day 4 and 5, while these two days were also ‘work’, with a wonderful groups of 11 boys and three male staff members I could not have asked for better company. You all may not think working with 11 boys overnight aged from 8 – 23 each with some form of mental health issue as being fun, but it was wonderful. It was made even better by the man who started it all. Mr. A, has made it his life goal to help young men and women who need time to learn, life skills and what we call respite. He is my inspiration, my ‘brother from another mother’, everyone says. We are so alike and yet so different. Mr. A’s passion and love for life make your heart swell, your cheeks hurt and your abs sting. Oh and I must mention your tummy expand as we eat so may lollies and sneak so many treats while hiding around a corner from the kids. Overnight work is tiring and exhausting, as the kids can be so demanding, but there is always positivity, laughter, love and care! When I was asked to help, I did not give it a second thought. At this hard time of my life I couldn’t think of a better person to spend it with than Mr.A!

Mr. A provides experiences which the kids and his staff won’t forget.

I mean how many people can say they watched a huge, 105kg man who’s confident in a boxing ring run from a number of pelicans as they chased him down a small strip of sand exposed in the Tullebudgera river!! Well I can.

On a side note, Pelicans are huge amazing creatures! But up close they can be scary!!!!

Besides pelicans I learnt about the male and female mud crab, more weird and unexpected information Mr. A provided for me!

These crabs, caught in crab pots which the boys hooked an dragged up, were smelly and yet stunning. Seeing them snap carrots in their claws making me squeal in amazement and the kids watching be totally and utterly astonished. A memory, something I won’t forget anytime soon!

I now know how to tie up a mud crab. I will never do this, ever, have you seen those claws, but at least I know how to!

Day 5. Now I am home from the weekend away. I smell like fish and have two crazy and un-walked dogs who are so over the moon so see.

I start the washing, unpack the car and receive a voicemail from yet another important person. One who is driving to see me for another girls night! Who could imagine, our friends are really the most important people in our time of need.

I must admit each of these days I did say to myself, it would be easier to sit at home and do nothing. To see no one and not have to entertain or be made to feel good. To not laugh at this crazy time of life when so much is going on and there is so much to be sad and angry about. However, you know what, no matter how much I have felt like I didn’t need or deserve the past 5 days, I did need the 5 friends. Big time!

Each and every one of them, some I have known since 1999 have played such a role in my life, seen me through thick and thin and are special to me. I may be starting again as a single mum but you know what, my friends re still there. They always have been!

How powerful are friends, how powerful is laughter, how powerful is being inspired!

5 days have shown me how lucky I am, how happy I can be and how happy the time ahead will be. I realise now how I have surrounded myself before with amazing people and I cannot wait to surround myself with more. People have so much to teach us and show us. It’s like the start of a movie, the ads go forever but then the movie begins and you never know what the ending will be. It’s the parts in the middle that matter most! It’s the part that make you laugh, jump, cringe and sigh that matter!

I am excited, scared and counting down the days until my next friend encounter!!

A rock, a giant red rock in the middle of nowhere. This may not sound very exciting but man it’s one amazing Rock!

Made of sandstone and iron, is rusty red colour, so deep you can’t take your eyes off it.

A giant looming structure literally in the middle of nowhere.

Uluru, has been something I have had on my bucket list for years. Always wanting to scale the side of the ROCK and reach the top. To see as far as the eye can see. The borders of the other Australian states, some 400km away, others only 70km!

Well I did it! I scaled Uluru and I looked into the distance! I ticked another thing off what is becoming a long bucket list!

The weekend was what I would call a fly in fly out weekend. I was lucky enough to join my parents. Dad who was attending a conference and mum who was accompanying him.

The Rock itself takes your breathe away. Flying in you can see it, on its own, just sitting in the middle of a massive grassy plain. It’s beautiful, majestic and enormous.

You don’t appreciate the size until you are right up close. You don’t appreciate the wonderful natural structure until you are at the bottom staring up and up and up, the top invisible to you.

I woke on the Sunday morning fully prepared to conquer the rock. Little did I know it would literally take my breath away.

We approached the bottom and I looked up, the signs saying it was currently closed to walkers. The disappointment seeped through me as I thought, oh no!

I turned back to mum and dad who were chatting to two of their friends and said, “it’s closed!”. They also expressed disappointment.

It wasn’t long after this that two rangers approached the sign and started taking them down. Stating, it was now open.

I didn’t move… I didn’t want to be the first one…

As I stared at the climb ahead of me, a lady and her husband, Donna and Al, came up behind me and said ‘come on you let’s go’.

To say they were amazing is just short of a lie. Donna and Al spoke to me the whole way up, even when we all stopped to catch our breath. Al had claimed the rock three times in three days. Why you ask? Well he said he did it because he could. For Donna, the rock had always been on her bucket list!

As we climbed to the summit we chatted about our lives and all that jazz, talking with people when you’re tackling a challenge like a very, very steep climb, all while hanging onto a chain and the sheer drop either side of you, keeps you distracted.

About 30 minutes after we started the climb we reached the first ‘top’. Like any mountain there are always what we call false peaks. Well when we reached this one, we had reached the top, a place where many people stop. Here the view was amazing, the car park no longer visible and the people now resembling ants! You could see as far as the eyes could see, the grassy plains just never ending. The sheer expanse of the land and the scenery were breathtaking. In the distance the Olga’s or Katajuta another spectacular site and place to visit.

This was not the top for Donna, Al and I. We wanted to go further. It was another 30 minutes to the very centre and very top. I was on a time limit, thanks mum, so we decided to walk just a little bit further, every step closer to the very top, the true top. We stopped just short of this point but at a point where you could see the entire 360 degree view of what lay around us.

It was beautiful, majestic and cold!

Uluru, because of its sheer size has its own weather system. How awesome is that! Reaching the top we were exposed and the wind was something that literally throws you off balance. Not only this but the wind changes, one minute coming from one direction and the next a different direction. It’s strong enough to knock you off your feet. This is generally one of the reasons why the climb is closed.

Spending a few minutes taking in what I had just accomplished, what I was seeing and literally feeling, like I was on top of the world I breathed in and breathed out! A hug from Donna and a high five from Al, watching Donna shed some tears as she had to achieved a life long goal was something I won’t forget too soon.

The hard part about climbing such an amazing mountain is having to go down again. This can be just as scary and dangerous. Many people have died climbing Uluru, a memorial dedicated to them resides on the side of the rock wall near where the climb begins. You climb at your own risk. The dangers so real your heart races with every step you take.

Zoom in on the above picture, you can just make out the chain you have to use to climb!

Coming down with Al and Donna was great. Al has some great advice and it was actually quick and easy. Going backwards and letting the chain slide through your hands.

Your breath quickens and you start to shake every time someone has to pass you coming up. They ask how far to the top, we tell them the truth, a while and don’t stop, take it slow as once you’re at the top the pain is worth it! So worth it!

On the way down I came across a father and his son. His son clinging to the metal pole scared and frozen. I asked if he was okay and he said he had to wait there for his friends to climb to the top and back down to get some photos of him and his son. Looking at the distressed little boy I said, ‘here let me take some photos and I will send them to you so you and your son don’t have to wait on the side.’ The father was so thankful! So I clung to the chain myself, removed my back pack and took some photos.

He was so appreciative and I could see the relief on his sons face.

Here’s some of them.

When my feet touched the solid base, pardon the pun, the solid, flat, red ground relief swept through me. Donna and Al gave me a hug and their well wishes. What a lovely couple. Such an amazing feat we completed.

It just goes to show that even when we think we are incapable of achieving great things, you can, nothing and no one can stand in your way. Determination and literally sweat and sheer muscle power allowed me to achieve something great!

I am now planning a return trip, to take my daughter as well as some school children through the outdoor education program I run. I think it’s a necessary and essential place enriched with history and amazement to be experienced.

If you haven’t been, you must go! Even if you don’t want to or have no urge to climb Uluru, then go anyway. Walk around it. That alone is an experience!

Also add to your list – the Field of Lights. An exceptional feat by Bruce Munro who assembled over 381km of fibre optic cable to create what is 8 football fields of beautiful changing, glass fired globes. As the sun sets the field comes to light. You then get to walk through these amazing fields. While it was freezing the sights of the spider webs and globes took your mind of the frostbite which may be crawling into your toes!

You can even enjoy the sunset with a glass of champagne!

A change of perspective, Uluru through a glass.

Here’s a snippet of that adventure.

So as the sun sets in sunny and cold Queensland on this cold June evening I hope you have realised that in our back yard we have stunning places and sights to see.

Take the plunge, accept the challenge and add it to your bucket list!

Trust me you won’t be disappointed!