Was it even real?

It’s funny how something so life changing as a 6 year relationship and a 2 year marriage can feel like it never happened. Never even took place.

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Was it even real?

It happened overnight, and yes a marriage and a relationship, even a long one can literally disappear overnight.

No I am not crazy, nor do I have amnesia and no I am not the only one who thinks this but was it even real!

It’s been 5 months since it all ended and probably just as long since we spoke.

Going from 100’s of messages and phone calls a day to absolute silence!

Deafening silence at times! Lonely silence even!

The only memory of what was are the random Facebook posts that remind me where I was at this moment in time 6, 5, or even 1 year ago.

How weird!

Still to this day people ask me ‘What happened?’, ‘It just ended’.

My reply, I do, and don’t know what happened but it feels like it wasn’t even real!

Life moves past us so quickly, at this moment in time I don’t even remember being married, or what the days were like, the nights and the in between. Maybe it’s a trauma that my brain has decided to file it away so deeply that it’s just a distant memory.

One my mind still tells me may or may not have been real!

It’s sad as well, to lose 6 years, to lose a partner, a step son and all that time but at the end of the day is it sad?

I look at what I have achieved in those 5 months. Where I have been and what I have seen. I look at how my soon to be teenager has blossomed and become the amazing young woman she is today. Almost like she was also trapped. Maybe I was to??

Maybe it’s okay to feel like it wasn’t real, maybe it’s okay to let it go and forget?

Actually it is, it’s okay to let it go!

I have, and boy how life has changed in such a short time!

Life throws us all sorts of curve balls, we have to start acknowledging them and taking from them the life lessons we are meant to have! There is no use being bowled over  by them as we don’t learn how to get back up. Instead, lay down take a moment, asses the bruises and the damage and then begin to plan how to overcome them, how to repair oneself and get up!

REMEMBER to get up! There is no better reward than learning from it!

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Author: insightintowhatitsrealkylike

An x wife to a FIFO (fly in fly out), a mother (well mostly single mother), a step parent, a daughter, a full time teacher, part time respite worker. A funny and outdoor lover! A patient and positive person who has learnt a lot through life and cannot wait to share it!

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